How to Help A Child Who Has Been Brainwashed
Parental alienation, or brainwashing a child against a parent, harms their emotions severely. It’s done purposefully by one parent, causing animosity and rift between the child and the target parent. This issue not only causes emotional distress. It alters the child’s thought patterns and ability to create or keep connections.
Below is a look into the signs of this manipulation, its effects, and how to help a child who has been brainwashed.
Signs of Child Brainwashing or Parental Alienation
Generally, the goal of the parent brainwashing a child against another parent is to get control or cut off the other parent from the child’s life. The instigating parent often has negative feelings towards the target parent and exploits the child as a tool. Affected children demonstrate the following signs:
1. Campaign of Denigration
The campaign of denigration is probably the most obvious sign of parental alienation. This essentially refers to sustained efforts by one parent to destroy the image or perception of the other parent in the eyes of the child. In most cases, the parent constantly criticizes the target parent, especially in front of the child. Criticism may come in the form of disparaging remarks and character attacks that negatively paint the target parent.
The alienating parent can also directly undermine the relationship between the child and the target parent. They might discourage communication, cancel visitation, or limit parenting time. Other strategies used by alienating parents include:
- False accusations – alienating parents can make false accusations against target parents, such as claims of neglect or abuse.
- Selective disclosure – this often occurs during divorce or separation. The alienating parent discloses information about the separation selectively, focusing on the negative aspects of the target parent.
- Blurring boundaries – alienating parents also often involve their child in adult conflicts and discussions that are typically not appropriate for their age.
The campaign of denigration greatly disrupts the child’s emotional well-being. This could potentially cause lasting challenges in creating and preserving wholesome relationships. If you think your child exhibits this behavior, seek advice from experts on how to help a child who has been brainwashed.
2. Support for Alienating Parent
It goes without saying that an alienated child will automatically support the alienating parent. This typically means the child forms a strong allegiance and aligns with the parent’s alienating behavior. Support for the alienating parent often manifests in various conscious and subconscious ways.
In most cases, the child develops blind loyalty to the alienating parent. Here, they demonstrate unwavering and unquestionable loyalty, even when faced with tangible evidence to the contrary. The brainwashed child may also routinely defend or justify the alienating parent’s actions and behaviors.
This makes them resistant to counter-information that differs from the alienating parent’s narratives. Similarly, the child may repeat alienating statements or accusations against the target parent. This suggests the child has internalized their preferred parent’s narrative.
3. Rejection of Extended Family
Another common tangible sign of a brainwashed child against a parent is the rejection of the target parent’s extended family. This rejection is a consequence of the alienating parent’s influence over the child. In most cases, the child isolates and forms negative perceptions about the relatives of the target parent. Fortunately, learning how to help a child who has been brainwashed rebuild such broken relationships with relatives is easy.
The Damaging Effects of Brainwashing a Child Against a Parent
The negative impacts of a child who has been turned against another parent can persist into adult life. This includes:
Emotional Distress
A majority of children who’ve seen parental discord suffer intense emotional upset, often manifesting through emotional imbalances, anxiety, and depression. Anxiety and depression often stem from the constant exposure to negativities from the alienating parent. Such children experience bouts of sadness, guilt, and confusion. They also find it difficult to form and maintain strong relationships.
Strained Parent-Child Relationships
Brainwashing or parental alienation directly affects the parent-child relationship to the core. Communication breakdown and the loss of bond with their other parent is challenging to the child. Because the child is conditioned to reject one parent, this hinders the development of a healthy and supportive parent-child bond.
Difficulty in Forming Healthy Relationships
Parental alienation often comes with trust and attachment issues. Brainwashed children often find it difficult to trust other people. The experience of being manipulated by their parent erodes their trust in parental figures and authority. Affected children struggle to form healthy attachments because of the fear of rejection or abandonment. Romantic relationships, friendships, and other bonds often fail.
This explains why most tips on how to help a child who has been brainwashed focus on improving the child’s social challenges.
How to Help a Child Who Has Been Brainwashed
The causative situation primarily determines the effective tips for overcoming parental alienation. However, you can apply the following general tips on how to help a child who has been brainwashed.
Seek Professional Intervention
Professional help is crucial in addressing parental alienation. It also provides an avenue for supporting a brainwashed child. Mental health experts who understand family dynamics help assess the situation and provide therapeutic support. They also facilitate the rebuilding of better relationships. Various professionals should come together to support the affected families.
Maintain Consistency
Maintaining consistency is another crucial tip on how to help a child who has been brainwashed. Consistency, especially from the target parent, helps rebuild trust, creates a stable environment, and provides some security for the child. The target parent should maintain consistent communication, visitation schedule, and consistent affection and support towards the brainwashed child.
Avoid Negative Reactions
Targeted parents shouldn’t react negatively towards their brainwashed child. Avoiding negative reactions is crucial in addressing parental alienation and helps rebuild relationships with brainwashed children. It also mitigates possible conflicts that can worsen the situation and creates a conducive environment for rebuilding trust.
Express Unconditional Love
Expressing unconditional love is another effective tip on how to help a child who has been brainwashed and address parental alienation. The target parents should demonstrate unwavering love and support towards the brainwashed child. Doing this counteracts the negative thoughts and perceptions while improving the child’s general well-being. The many ways of expressing unconditional love include:
- Offering consistent verbal affirmations
- Demonstrating non-verbal expressions of affection
- Active listening
- Positive reinforcement
- Avoid withholding affection
- Proactively apologize where necessary
- Encourage and foster open communication
Because of their already formed negative perceptions, expressing unconditional love may prove challenging for target parents. As such, it requires a lot of patience, ongoing effort, and commitment.
Involve Neutral Third Parties
Involving third parties is a valuable tip on how to help a child who has been brainwashed. Neutral third parties help resolve conflicts, giving room for both parents to rebuild relationships. They act as impartial mediators, providing unbiased perspectives that help the fighting parties resolve their issues.
The Bottom Line
Divorce and other common family issues often result in brainwashing a child against a parent and parental alienation. This affects the child’s emotional welfare and parent-child bond. Children caught in the middle of parental scuffs often suffer loss of love, peace, and respect during their early years.
